Three Ideas for Dealing with the Flakes You’ll Encounter in 2015

Is it just me, or have you noticed an outbreak in the number of flaky people out there?

I’m not talking about liars, cheaters, and thieves. Flakes aren’t bad people who intentionally do bad things.

Flakes are the irresponsible ‘me first’ knuckleheads who are lacking in the simple social graces.

To assure we’re on the same page, allow me to share three quick stories of recent flake encounters:

• I drove across town to mentor an aspiring speaker who said his expertise was “relationship building through appreciation.” The meeting lasted two hours during which I gave him one of my favorite books and a long list of valuable resources to get him started in the right direction. While I was at the counter paying the check for both our breakfasts, he got up, waved goodbye through the coffee shop window, and left without a word of thanks. Haven’t heard a peep from him since.
• I received a “panic call” from a prospective client who needed to make an immediate decision. We talked for an hour and he said he felt confident that he had made the right call and wanted to move forward, so he asked me to overnight some materials and a contract for my services. I dropped everything else I was working on to expedite his request. Three days later I called to make sure he had everything he needed from me, but he didn’t take my call. I followed up a week later and his admin said he was in a meeting, but assured me that my FedEx package had arrived and “is still sitting on his desk unopened.” For all I know, it’s still there.
• On a referral from a colleague, I contacted a designer who asked me to meet her at her office to discuss my project in person. When I arrived, she was out to lunch. I left my card with a receptionist along with a kind note stating that I was sorry I had missed her and would be happy to reschedule at her convenience. Never got a call or email. Bumped into her two weeks later and she acted like the whole thing never happened.

I could go on, but you get the point. In fact, I bet your mind is already cycling through a series of flake encounters you’ve suffered through.

RECOGNIZE, PREPARE, and TAKE ACTION

Flakes mystify us.  It’s almost as if there’s a secret society of these people who all subscribe to the same creed.  They come off as likable, responsible professionals and make a good enough first impression that we decide to trust them and either help them, rely on them, or give them our business. Then, for no apparent reason and without any provocation or warning, they let their flake flag fly.

Flakes don’t return calls, texts, and /or emails, even when it’s in their own best interests to do so.

• They schedule meetings and don’t show up.
• They promise big and deliver small — and usually late — if they deliver at all. 
• They ask for favors and take whatever they can get. Then, not only do they not give back, they don’t even say “thanks.”

While they might mean no harm, it doesn’t take too many encounters with flakes before it can infect your overall attitude and outlook causing you to become untrusting, guarded and cynical.  And those are three things that I don’t want to happen to me.  So to that end, here’s how I’ve decided to deal with flakes from this point forward:

1. ONE AND DONE – I’m a forgiving soul and understand that unforeseen problems and misunderstandings are often unavoidable. However, whenever an individual flashes signs of complete irresponsible behavior (won’t return calls/emails, stands me up, etc.), I am not going to make it easy for them to do the same thing to me again. Flake on me once, shame on me. Flake on me twice, and our relationship has run its course.

2. PRAISE OR WARN – I am going to go out of my way to praise, refer, and advocate for those vendors, suppliers, and clients who say what they do and do what they say. Conversely, I am going to warn my colleagues when I see a flake lurking in the weeds so they won’t suffer the same outcomes I have. I’d hope my friends and colleagues would do the same.

3. INCULCATE – I’m a parent, stepparent and a grandparent. In each of those roles, I’m going to exercise any influence I have to assure that these young people become the anti-flakes of this world and always exhibit class, diligence, integrity, and manners, regardless of who they’re dealing with.

ON POINT – Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be flakes.