Most readers of this blog are business owners, execs, leaders, and managers looking for ideas and strategies for engaging and developing the emerging workforce. This particular post, however, is written for the emerging workforce, i.e. millennials. While this generation is not lacking in talent, many are somewhat deficient in the revered social skills, primarily because their parents (me included) focused on keeping them happy, healthy, and safe. Perhaps we’ve been negligent in inculcating them with the common courtesies that our parents taught us and it’s time to teach – or remind them – of a few simple truths that will serve them well in business – and in life.
4 Crucial Lessons That Will Set You Apart from the Pack and Earn You Respect and Adoration
1. Never show up to a dinner or a party empty-handed.
Your boss invites you and a guest over to her house for a dinner on Saturday night. After graciously accepting, the next words out of your mouth should be “What shall I bring?” She will likely reply, “Nothing, just yourselves.” That’s code for ‘bring a bottle of wine and/or an appetizer, a box of truffles, or a small house plant.’
Same rule applies when your parents invite you over. This is your chance to show them–and the rest of the world–that you’ve matured into an independent adult who understands proper etiquette and that you don’t feel ‘entitled’ to something-for-nothing.
2. Become a Jedi-master at expressing appreciation.
• Your Uncle Jack attends your wedding and gifts you and your bride with a food processor.
• You advance to the final round of job interviews but the manager hires another candidate.
• A senior executive from a different division notices you sitting alone at a coffee shop, asks if he can join you, and then proceeds to give you 20 minutes of brilliant career advice.
In each of the above cases, what’s your next move?
Send a thank you note.
No, not an email or a text. An actual hand-written, personalized thank you note sent via US mail with a First Class stamp.
Sounds antiquated, right? And hey, who’s got time for that?
Trust me. In the eyes of the recipient, the perceived value of that thoughtful, hand-written note is worth more than three phone calls, five emails, and a dozen texts, and I guarantee they will remember you fondly and consider you a cut above the fray.
And the next time you need some face time with a guy who’s been around the block a time or two, or a new position opens up in the company that previously passed you over, or your car breaks down in Topeka…well, let’s just say that Uncle Jack will have your back.
3. When you borrow something, return it promptly, in the same condition, without being asked.
• Your stapler jams, so your cubical mate lends you hers.
• You’re out for a beer, forget your wallet, and your cousin picks up the check.
• Your neighbor sees you landscaping your back yard and offers you his wheelbarrow.
What’s your next move?
Do the 3-step boogie: 1. Say thank you. 2. Use it. 3. Return it promptly.
For Pete’s sake, don’t wait for the lender to say to you, “Hey, do you still have that card table you borrowed a few months ago?”
Return what you borrowed without being asked or reminded. And whenever possible, return what you borrowed in even better condition than when you got it. (i.e. Fill the stapler. Wash the wheelbarrow. Return the truck with the gas tank on FULL even if it was on 3/4 when you borrowed it. Pay your cousin back for your beer, and include the cost of theirs, too!)
Be the kind of person who rarely borrows anything, but when necessary, you repay the kindness with interest.
4. When conversing with others, intentionally divert the conversation away from yourself.
The quickest way to get on the wrong side of people who are over 50 is to dominate a conversation and turn everything that is said back to yourself. You know, talk incessantly about your impending job offer, your business idea, your diet, your new car, your pregnancy, the trouble you’re having with your in-laws, that lazy coworker of yours, etc.
Look, as much as we ‘old people’ want to know what’s going on in your life, we don’t want to hear every minute detail.
So give us the highlights, and then politely deflect the conversation away from yourself by asking the question, “So what’s new with you?” or “Where have your travels taken you recently?” or “What are you going to plant in your garden this year?”
You’d be amazed at what you will learn, and moreover, how much your personal stock rises through our eyes.
And whatever you do, be humble! We are thoroughly disgusted by the burgeoning bragging epidemic. We are of the mind that the world doesn’t need another Kanye West or Richard Sherman beating their chest telling the world how great they are.
Let somebody else tell us what you did that deserves our attention and applause.
FINAL WORD TO MILLENNIALS:
The world today is much more impersonal, rude, self-absorbed, and challenging than the one I (and your folks) grew up in.
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that it doesn’t take that much to stand out above the crowd and win favor with the people around you. You don’t need a stellar resume or a million Twitter followers to gain respect and admiration from your elders – or your peers.
Just demonstrate a little class and you’ll shine as bright as the north star.
