Actually, I didn’t almost lose my ass.
I nearly lost two.
You see, my wife and I raise donkeys.
Having a donkey wasn’t my idea. I never wanted to own a donkey. But my wife, Lori, pleaded with me to get one.
I fought back and stood my ground. “We’re not raising any farm animals here, honey!”
We finally came to a compromise. Now we have four donkeys.
Elway, Opie, Fiona, and Dakota are ‘miniature’ donkeys standing only three feet tall.
But they still weigh over 300 pounds each, are incredibly strong, and are as fast as Usain Bolt when they want to escape.
These wonderful beasts provide no useful service to us, but they are very affectionate and so playful they have become an endless sense of amusement for us and our grandkids.
Today when I went out to scoop the poop from the pasture (very glamorous, I know), I inadvertently left the gate ajar. It only took a few moments for Dakota to see the crack and make her break. I dropped my shovel and ran out to the driveway to try to block her from running further, but as I did, Fiona pushed her way through and ran out in the opposite direction.
You’ve probably heard the old adage, “If you chase two rabbits, you lose both.”
Well, that’s even more fitting when you’re chasing two mini donkeys, both of whom can easily overpower you and easily outrun you.
I’d like to say I handled this alarming situation with extreme athleticism and grace, but the truth is, I panicked.
I did have enough presence of mind to race back to the pasture and latch the gate before Elway and Opie sprung loose. But the other two had already made their way down our 240-foot driveway and were heading towards the open road.
God only knows where they might have gone from there.
My Big Dilemma
I noticed a small branch within reach that had fallen off an elm tree. I thought about grabbing it and sprinting ahead of them to shake it angrily in their face and perhaps threaten them back into the pasture. But donkeys aren’t as dumb as others may think they are. In fact, they knew I would never strike them, so that wouldn’t have worked.
I abandoned the stick idea and instead chose the carrot, and in this case, the carrot was some grain my wife had purchased at the feed store for our granddaughter’s horse.
Donkeys like grain. In fact, they LOVE grain.
Grain is as irresistible to them as Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cookie Dough is to me and a Ghirardelli Chocolate bar is to Lori.
I ran through the pasture and into the barn to grab a large metal pie tin and fill it with grain. I then jogged back out to the end of the driveway, stood completely still, and shook the pie tin back and forth until the sound of that grain splashing the sides of the tin filled the air.
Within seconds, Dakota and Fiona came out of nowhere and ran back toward me.
When they got within arm’s reach, I rewarded each with a big handful of the grain. Then I turned and walked briskly back toward the pasture, continuing to shake the pie tin and occasionally letting them have a small taste.
When I reached the gate, I opened it fairly wide and walked into the pasture about 50 feet.
In a flash, all four donkeys were anxiously taking turns gobbling the grain from the tin, which I eventually set on the ground.
I then turned to walk back and secure the gate.
The Carrot Triumphs Over the Stick Again!
Coercive measures don’t work with donkeys any more than they work with people. You can’t influence positive behavior from your employees by using threats and harsh discipline.
Those kinds of tactics might work occasionally—but only for a very limited time. And even if the recipient responds to coercion, they’re going to lose trust in their leader. Eventually, they’ll only do the bare minimum required to avoid “the stick” and meet this barely passable standard when they know they are being carefully monitored.
I do not think I could have frightened or intimidated those two stubborn donkeys to return to the pasture by getting behind them, pointing towards the pasture, and swatting them on their butts with a stick until they moved as I demanded.
What proved remarkably effective was to get in front of them and lead them with frequent rewards that appealed to their tastes, not mine.
The lesson is clear: You don’t have to kick ass to build trust and get your people moving in the right direction.
Instead, discover what each employee values as their grain, and keep it in stock.
